Intentions

An acquaintance of mine was killed in a car wreck last night. I didn't know him very well and had only spoken to him in passing. He was a young man not much older than me with a family. I've heard that he had some "plans" to help make a difference in peoples lives. I don't know what those plans were, but others do and I could find out if I so wanted. Anyway I say all of this because it made me start to think about what my "legacy" would be if I was the one killed in a car wreck? What would others say about me after the funeral (only positive thoughts are given at the funeral)? Would it be that I was a nice guy that got along with everyone and didn't cause too many waves? Yuk!! Don't get me wrong I want to get along with as many people as possible, but leaders always cause waves. Just like the bow of a boat creates an ever increasing wake as it moves forward. Will I be remembered as the guy with great intentions (a dreamer) with no follow through? I think so. If I were dead in the next instant I think that is my legacy. Intentions are great, dreams are too, but ACTION counts. Action requires courage and faith. Maybe that's why I don't want to be the dreamer without action-it's a sign of cowardice! I am many things, but a coward I am not, and I don't want my legacy to indicate, on any level, to the contrary. I hope I have enough time left to prove my case! If not, know that I am working towards action. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I'm trying.

Passion

I've been misleading a co-worker lately. Not completely but not completely honest either. We've both been discussing the fact that we have no passions in our lives. How we really just don't care much about anything. I'm not into sports because I just can't bring myself to care about a "game". I'm not into politics because it appears to be self serving, maybe not in the beginning but always in the end. So many "passions" seem to be about convincing people to think like you think for the purpose of self validation. Well, I actually like me and don't need outside approval to feel good. Of course it's nice to get, but I don't crave that justification. Even when it comes to the Christian faith it seems that so many people's spreading of the good news is more about convincing others to be and think the same as them. They miss the point and it makes me question if they have truly surrendered their life to the Lord. Jesus convinced many to follow Him, but it was for their own good not His. Today's Christians seem to be trying harder to earn a better standing for themselves than truly concerned for those that haven't experienced the love of Christ. What really breaks my heart is the fact that many of them don't even realize how selfish and self serving their Christian walk is. My passion is to help others along the path of truly following Christ. Whether they are on the path and slightly misguided or in the waste lands that surround the path does not matter to me. I want to do what I've be commanded to do. Go and make disciples, not converts, but disciples. Disciples of Christ who understand and can't contain the love that can only come for Him. That is my passion. I don't yet know the exact medium I will use for this, but I know it doesn't matter because I can do this on a daily basis just by walking the path. I don't need to know where the path is taking me because it only goes in the right direction.

On The Edge

I have friends who are trying to truly follow the Lord and are living on the "edge" with their faith. They are letting go of all the trappings of "religion" and just LIVING IT (the Christian life). Now some in the "church" we attend are making all kinds of accusations against them...from they're trying to steal members and start a home church to they're tithing to a former children's minister. It's all untrue and just proves to me how many "Christians" really don't get it. They think attendance and involvement in programs is the key. They don't ever seem to realize Jesus himself was on the outside of religion when he walked this earth. My friends are now experiencing what so many others have...HURT!!! And from those that are supposed to be supporting them. It breaks my heart. I know they'll survive and come out stronger, it's just sucks that the resistance is coming from friendlies. We have some guarantees when we follow Christ, one of which is that it will not be easy.

Exsisting

I know I'm not very much fun to be around these days. My wife must really love me! I knew I had too much going on in my life so I made some changes to slow down. Now all I do is sit around and wonder what the hell I needed all this time for. I exsist. nothing more, nothing less. Mr. Mellancamp must have known what I'm feeling when he sang, "life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone." I really want to find joy in life's little pleasures, and I'm fully aware of all the blessings I have in my life, but I just have this desire to live a life of adventure with purpose. I want to be satisfied but for some reason satisfaction eludes me. My wife says I have a wandering spirit. Maybe... I just wish I knew where it was wandering to.